Category: Thoughts

Domestic Tranquility, Kids, Thoughts

The Smell of Grass

Posted on by suburbanfatherhood

A child said What is the grass? fetching it to me with full hands; 
How could I answer the child? I do not know what it is any more than he. 

Walt Whitman

Nothing is more suburban than mowing the grass on a Saturday morning. The whir of other lawn mowers fills the air, water flows down the road from someone washing their car up the street, and the smell of freshly cut grass permeates the air. Since God rested in the Garden of Eden, this is the closest to heaven that we can get. It is a ritual not understood by those in the city, and undertaken alone by those in the country.

And then the tranquil bliss is interrupted by the most angelic of beings… your 4 year old walking up wanting to help. How do you explain why the grass needs to be cut, or even what the grass is? How do you explain that the blade on the bottom of the lawn mower can create a BIG problem really quickly without scarring him for life? Or that him “helping” will add 20 minutes to a task that was only going to take 15 minutes in the first place. You can’t. You can only breathe deep and stare in wonder at the world the way a child does, when the days seem to last forever, the sun is always warm, and nothing is better than playing outside with your friends and your imagination.

And then that breathe is interrupted by your 2 year old walking up wiping her mouth with dirt stained hands saying the dirt tastes “yucky” with a horrendous look on her face. As you laugh because you remember doing the same thing when you were a child, you help her wipe her mouth out and ask if she learned something from the experience. And then you take a deep breathe, enjoy the smell of the cut grass, and let time pass slowly for a few minutes, basking in the moment.

Does this sound familiar? Isn’t this all of our experience every weekend? No? Me neither. I wish I could say I took the time to embrace and experience the peace, the Jewish concept of shalom. That slice of perfection this side of heaven that is spending a perfect summer morning cutting the grass and enjoying the weather with your family. But I don’t. Why not? Why do I let the worries of Monday affect my Saturday. Why do I worry about the events planned for the weekend instead of being in the moment? Why do I feel envious because the Joneses seem to be able to relax by their pool while I’m out here?

It’s way too easy for us to get sidetracked from the pictures of perfection, or heaven on Earth, that are put before us. I’m not saying the Suburbs are heaven (although I do enjoy living here). I’m saying the situations we are put in resemble Heaven in those ways. If we can find a way to be content, to live in those moments and cling to them, we’d find that the stress melts away, our families become stronger, and the worries of this world don’t have as much power over us.

Cheers,

-SF

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food, Kids, Thoughts

Food Choices

Posted on by suburbanfatherhood

It’s amazing the things kids will and won’t eat. They start off with milk and then are transitioned to things pureed. It doesn’t matter what, they’ll eat it. Pureed spinach? Yep. Pureed meatball? Yep. Pureed Mac and Cheese? Yet. And then they hit 18 months and start getting picky. All of a sudden food they liked the day before is comida non grata. This post is dedicated to the weird food combinations and statements my kids have liked and made…

Likes…

  • Peanut butter and cheese
  • Butter and cheese
  • Peanut butter by itself
  • Banana and peanut butter (not a bad combination, but it makes the list because the child thinks banana by itself is disgusting)
  • Peanut butter and popcorn
  • Liking the table (“it tastes good”)
  • Cherry tomatoes
  • Raw pizza dough (takes after me)
  • Licking the butter wrapper
  • Licking the Mac and Cheese cheese flavor wrapper

Doesn’t like…

  • Refuses to touch hamburger (“It’s too spicy”)
  • Refuses to touch blueberries (except to throw them away)
  • Starts to eat an orange slice and then spits it out… every time. And then asks for another one.
  • Ice cream is too cold and not good?
  • Bagel toasted with cream cheese… then tries it and loves it… then wants it “regular” again.
  • Candy with nuts in it.
  • Any form of green herb in the food (“it’s too spicy”)

Cheers,

-SF

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Thoughts

Boys and Girls

Posted on by suburbanfatherhood

A person’s a person, no matter how small.

Dr. Seuss

If you’re like me, you’re a fan of Dr. Seuss. From the start of One Fish, Two Fish he had me hooked. The rhyming nature of his work, the tongue twisters he puts together, and even his illustrating are a huge reason he still is a mainstay in children’s literature.

But the thing that enthralls me the most is the whimsical worlds he creates. The houses defies the laws of physics, animals can talk (of course), and a big-hearted moose gets away just in time. He had an uncanny nature to inject the world of a child’s mind onto each page, to display the same sense of wonder at what is going on in the world as the readers are experiencing.

Being in touch with a child’s mind like this is a gift. One that I don’t have. But having observed my own children growing, I’ve noticed a distinct difference between my son and my daughter. Yes, all children are different and unique and will have inherent differences. But there’s just something different about how they are wired as genders.

My son is awesome. His enthusiasm for life seems unparalleled. He is wild, crazy, and fierce, always wanting your attention and always full of energy. Some days he is Batman, other days he is the Flash. He always thinks he can win and always hates losing (which is bad because he is nowhere near as fast the adult he always challenges to race… me).

But regardless of how he is pretending to be that day, without fail, any toy you give him inevitably ends up being a weapon. It may be a sword, a knife, a gun, a “shooter”, a blaster, a light-saber, or another item from his imagination. There’s always a bad guy to catch, a person to fight, a pirate to find, or something else seemingly manly to do. He is currently walking around asking “where is my blaster?” It’s always destruction and fighting.

Alternatively, my daughter also loves being sweet and cuddly, pretending to be Wonder Woman, Batgirl, or other girl-based superhero. Where “Batman” likes fighting, “Batgirl” loves saving. She’s there to pull him out of trouble when he gets caught by Daddy. She’s there to save her stuffed animals. Instead of building weapons, she has accessories. She builds homes and beds, and wants to make sure things are tucked in tight.

I realize that gender is a touchy topic in our present society, and I am not intending to wade into that fight. However, I marvel at the diversity I see in my own kids, raised in the same house. No matter how much we encourage our son to build something “nice”, it always becomes a weapon or a base or similar. As soon as our daughter gets involved, she labels it something charming. From the womb, with the same environment and upbringing, they demonstrate very different inherent tendencies. What a wonderful world we live in.

Cheers,

SF

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