Goodbyes are hard. We all deal with them differently. Some of us like to down play them, some like to ignore them, some like to lament them long before they ever happen. Over the next 5 months I’ve got two big good byes coming up. I’m not sure if knowing they are coming makes them easier or harder. Combined they represent 36 years of relationships spanning both my personal life and my professional life.

The milestone coming up in September will undoubtedly be the easier goodbye. It’s only a 4 year relationship ending. I’m not sure when I’ll get to say goodbye face to face, hopefully this summer, but we both know the end is coming. Thankfully there’s little chance of running into each other after it’s over. But that doesn’t remove the fact that since inception I have been involved nurturing, growing, leading, and sustaining over the past 4 years. Saying good bye now is turning over control to someone else to make the decisions they see fit and to admit I’m no longer in a driver’s seat. I’ve been visiting less and less over the past year, but it still feels raw. Hopefully I’ll get to say goodbye face to face over this summer.

The harder goodbye still has an unknown timeline but is expected in the next 2 to 5 months. How do you say good bye to memories that span as long as you can remember, all the major milestones of your life and your kids’ lives,? How can that be easy? Where do you start? It will be all the harder given the fact that this is just minutes away from where I live, not in a different state. Reminders are everywhere.

Now before someone cries foul, let me explain a little bit more about each of these good byes. The first is a computer system (large Windows domain with associated components and peripherals) I designed, procured, built, and configured. It was many long hours getting it ready to be deployed, while working in varying environments to get it done. The system was shipped out in a blizzard. There are many unique aspects to the whole thing that make the good bye harder. The support is transitioning over to the system owner, a required next step. Yet that doesn’t make it feel easier. I’m trying to arrange an onsite visit/inspection to be with it one more time.

(Anyone currently judging me for a personal attachment to electronics a) don’t know me very well; and b) don’t pour their heart and soul into the projects they work on).

The second good bye is to my childhood home. My parents are moving out into a retirement community and will need to sell it. It’s been great to live near where both myself and my wife grew up. My kids have climbed the same trees I climbed as a child. We have celebrated Christmas in the same place I used to. The memories have been passed on. And yet it’s not easy to say good bye to a place with that many memories.

How will I handle these good byes? I can’t say for certain until the time comes. I try not to get caught up on the future. The work one will likely come and go, ultimately lost in the shuffle of continuing projects. It is inevitable for someone with a career as varied as mine to have to leave behind a project in order to tackle the next one. I’ll try to organize a celebration to recognize the past 4 years of hard work, and then turn around and do something new.

Saying good bye to my childhood home is likely hard because it feels like saying good bye to my childhood, to the memories I harbor, to what it is that makes up who I am. What’s likely to happen is I take some time to walk around the place and remember. Then take those memories and treasure them up in my heart. I need to remind myself I’ve already said good bye to my childhood in one sense (I’m an adult with kids), but in another sense it will never leave me (it helped make me who I am today and my wife reminds me I’m a 12 year old who shaves many times.).

In both cases I’ll raise a glass to freedom, memories, successful projects, and continued life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Raise one with me.

Cheers,

-SF