You might be a suburban father if…

1. You have an SUV parked out front.
2. Your drive to work spends too much time in traffic.
3. Your kids are enrolled in at least two sports apiece.
4. Your house looks exactly like your neighbors.
5. But the neighbors’ grass is always greener.
6. Going out to dinner means going to a mall/strip mall.
7. You’re married to a soccer mom.
8. The cul-de-sac is the playground for your kids.
9. Landscaping is a part time hobby.
10. The HOA takes a portion of your pay check.